Bored...

Being a human, when you are bored, you start to think of stuffs.. So since i am so bored, i decided to blog.. Let me see, today's topic shall be on love then, since i have been watching too much love shows and hearing love matters from friends.. Machiam some love consultant, but actually not know.. Hahaz!

Well, was talking to my manager yesterday, and she said something that i agree so totally.. That is between two people, no matter what happens, you have to be truthful and honest to one another.. She told me that before she stepped into marriage, both parties have to be honest with themselves, that they are ready, that they want to create a future together, that they want to be with one another, and be able to accept all the good and bad in each other, not to attempt to change one another.. I think what she says makes a heap loads of sense.. I mean, if one has a little doubt in them, then were will the relationship lead to? If you are not being honest, that this is what you want, that this is what you are willing to give up, that this is what you are willing to accept, then i am sure the marriage/relationship will not last because at some point of time, things will just keep building up till it ends up negatively in a big explosion...

I have been hearing much love matters from people around me recently.. Maybe because is is one of the easiest topic to engage in cause well, everyone will have been through it right? From the simple love from a family, to a friend to an opposite sex.. We all have different expectations and ways of expressing, it takes time to fully understand and accept how one expresses their love and concerns.. Some might be simple to say 'I Love You', some may be tough as they keep breathing down you neck.. But at the end of they day, it is because they are concerned for us, loving us, that is why they will treat us in such ways..

Among my friends, many of them are attached, some even married.. I guess this is the time when people start to panic about what if I am still single? What if I cannot get married? I have even got people asking me whether I have a boyfriend and when i want to find one.. Well, all i can say from my perspective is, such matters cannot be rushed.. As matters of the heart takes time, and i am still learning despite being 22 years of age... Heard this song, which makes heaps of sense: "Love is not love, till you learn how to give it away"... I am sick and tired of one-sided wild goose chase, that i am not afraid to say that i was rather afraid of stepping into another relationship and face the same problem again.. So, now i am learning how to open up and accept love again.. After all, i STILL want to get married and have kids.. Hahaz!

I believe really strongly that i will be able to find the love of my life.. One who will not care if i burp really loud, have a voice of a loud speaker, am fat, loves to eat and being so stubborn.. One that will give me the strong sense of security.. Even if it takes more time, it is fine.. After all, i rather marry right and be happy than jump into a marriage that might end up in a nasty way.. I all along thought that now, i should just reserve for the right person to come.. But my brother told me that is not right.. Cause this way, i will be afraid to accept relationships... Which i think it is really true.. But then again, this does not mean that we can jump into anyone that pops up lah.. Hahaz... Know of some friends who do that.. Though i am in no position to comment, i just feel that why jump into one before knowing a person better?

To my friends out there not going through a good period right now.. Press on.. If the other party decides to end it, well, then we just got to accept right? After all, being forced to stay in a relationship will not be good too.. And trust me, the feeling sucks for both parties.. So get out, have fun and just live life again..

I am just glad that now, Sheryl has finally found her inner self again.. The all along cheerful, loud and crazy girl since she was born.. In fact, it is in this semester that I actually realised many life lessons.. One being you can never satisfy everyone, and even if some people are not happy or comfortable with the way you speak and act, heck about them.. I am who i am, me speaking this way, acting this way, is my inner self, my copyright, my label.. If i need to change, i will, like my stubborn character.. Well, though i KNOW it is impossible to change totally, but a simple improvement will mean heaps.. Only those who appreciate the way you are will just accept this 'spare parts' of the package.. So yeah..

Took me 5 years to find this inner me again.. Maybe too much has happened within these 5 years.. After all, during this period i have been let down in both friendships and relationships, but have also enjoyed the best moments in both friendships and relationships too.. From being controlled to gaining freedom, from having to lead but have failed, from knowing who my true friends are, from being disappointed to finding encouragement, from being a really lousy student to being a smart one for now.. Hahaz.. These 5 years seem to have passed in a flash..

I just want to thank everyone cause you all have played a part.. Those who made me pissed, upset or even heart broken, i do not blame you peeps, cause if not for you peeps, i don't think i can be who i am today.. Learning to stand on my feet and be stronger.. So for that, i thank you all for knocking me hard with the harsh realities in life.. I TRULY do appreciate...

Those who have always been there for me.. Nothing can ever express the gratitude that i have.. Being there for me when i am down, giving me a boost when i need encouragement, always showering me with the love and concerns... I am able to stay this positive and cheerful because of you peeps.. So i thank you all..

Okie, this is a damn long entry.. Hahaz! But these few days, having to do nothing after the exams, it has given me heaps of time to think about my life.. About the past and what i want to do from now on.. Though i have only been thinking about the past, it is time i look into the future.. Decide what i want to do, where i want to go and ultimately, what i want to achieve in this life of mine.. To friends going through a tough time now, remember, although sometimes the ending point is the same, it is the process that matters.. As long as you put in the best effort, positive results will reap..